Notes on the Melanated American

Originally published + 5/6/20

Written in October 2017, roughly 6 months upon the founding of Melanin MeetUps, our founder Kirk Brown expressed the color line of America being activated and unraveling real time upon the FBI’s declaration of black identity extremism a threat to American society. Given the recent killing of Ahmaud Arbery in Georgia; as well as the events of Covid-19, and the unprecedented situation the country faces along with black and brown communities being heavily impacted by the pandemic — we couldn’t help but find parallels addressed 3 years ago that are incredibly relevant today. We hope you gain perspective as you read x The Narrative Staff

But first I speak within the context of living in America. To be called a terrorist at 28 by your government because you seek to heal and advance Community, is surreal; yet to watch the permanent undoing and unraveling of an archaic system fueled by the false construct such as the 'color line' is quite entertaining. As I received the push notification on my phone from CNN that sunny fall day in New York City - telling me that the FBI had declared black identity extremism a threat; I laughed and went about my day, stopping at 16 Handles for a treat. Silly people. Don’t they know that they are dealing with a generation equipped with a better understanding of this country's history at base level than they themselves? Before I tell you why I laughed, context is important.

The Hero’s Journey

I believe with my whole heart and entire being, white supremacy (a multitude of many things) was allowed to flourish to show us one of the lowest vibrational forms of human behavior in the modern world. And due to its primordial barbaric nature, as a result, show humanity what we don’t want, triggering within us a desire to elevate and to be a more healthy, spiritually, self aware society. Within the context of the experiment known as America, the trigger to a healthy more aware society rests solely in a sacred and complex Being known as the Melanated American (who identifies as black).

This Being’s tale is one of fascination rooted in the construct of a ‘color line’ that would ultimately form the basis of this experiment. In recent times, I can think of no other group that was designed for one purpose only; only to be able to adapt, be agile, be nimble, and be resilient -simultaneously relinquishing themselves of that purpose in order to become ‘human’. That purpose alone has the ability to pave the way for a more empathic society, a purpose greater (or perhaps it was designed this way all along) than color. And I’d like to note, to show society what it means to treat human beings as human beings under a microscope in the ‘greatest country on earth’, is incredible.

At its core, the Melanated American’s tale is that of an underdog’s tale - and if America deems itself the originator in the modern world of the ‘true underdog’ (given how it was founded), then the journey of the Melanated American will be the sequel. One thing is true, everyone loves, or will eventually love the underdog as the underdog is the hero. But the sequel takes many variables to get right. It is a more intricate process designed for those who truly understand the original, willing to take another chance to create something better. This is the beautiful burden of the Melanated American.

Moving away from the ‘Color Line’

But within this context, how does one create the sequel aside from understanding the original? Again, the Melanated American’s journey begins at the creation of the ‘color line’, a line of low vibrational warped beliefs and fallacies where one group proclaimed itself better than the other. Its origins began to develop in the motherlands of Europe – yet with precision and branding made its way here to the current experiment, America. If we agree that the history of this country and its physical prowess is indebted to the creation of the ‘color line’ (which thrives off of polarity and maintains order), then the Melanated American is unwillingly, unknowingly and knowingly at the forefront, holding the key to the experiment’s evolution or demise. Let me emphasize this again so it is clear. The continuation of this experiment rests solely in the Melanated American. They have the power, but not by force - simply out of a ‘group of visionaries’ that did not think this experiment all the way out when they sat down to flesh it out.

The Melanated American, a unique group, whose intended design was to solely build an empire by working the land, also was/has been used as a pawn under horrendous low vibrational constructs to maintain order. With no land or country to ‘fully’ identify with, they would go on to build that country which would turn into an empire, and fuel its existence and structure due to their ‘color’. This empire, America, owes its entire ‘strength’ and ‘existence’ to them. Simply put, strength was created by the lofty ideals and non-inclusive frameworks by rich low vibrational ‘white’ beings that would form the basis of the ‘color line’ to ensure that the Melanated American would stay in line for the sake of structure.

But if the Melanated American chooses to move from the color line, choosing to rewrite his or her own narrative, so will fall all of the core components that make up this country’s foundation. If we agree that America’s power at its base is rooted in color, one I should say that the country as a whole is having tremendous difficulties coming to terms with, the awareness and advancement of the Melanated American will disrupt and alter its structures - calling into question all symbols, structures, relics, labels, figures, etc. that contributed to its formation. I daresay, even the classifications of people from ‘black’ and ‘white’ will be disrupted. For who can those in a state of power and ‘goodwill’ compare themselves to when the anti-thesis (polarity) of their false constructs of superiority, no matter how loud or silent, is me? This includes all of the labels associated and assigned to me as well. This country needs me in order to maintain structure and without me, what will it fall back on and who will fill ‘that void’?

New nigger applications are being shoved in front of the Mexican and stereotyped Muslim, but even these people have seen our history. They too understand. The only fools who still uphold this color line (unconsciously or consciously) are left to face themselves and reality. There is nowhere to run. Not even space. Furthermore, to further emphasize my point about why I believe white supremacy was allowed to flourish; I believe it was to show humanity, that through my brethren and sistren that identify as white, their denial of reality and internal biases, permits examples of ‘basic instinct’ to be on full display. This signifies  as a whole or makes society more aware that, we are not as advanced as we’d like to believe. Let me be clear, wealth and materialism does not dictate advancement when it comes to understanding not only yourself, but how to treat another human being. And so I say, to witness this ‘unraveling’ as it’s happening is unbelievable and why I laugh at my government saying black identity extremism is a threat, ultimately making me a terrorist. The line is now coming undone - and with great hastily attempts, trying to stay in tact. Reality is quite hard and this hidden phenomenon of superiority within this experiment continually seeks new acts of tried and true tactics to ensure its survival. It’s pitiful.

Notes on the Melanated American

1)    "I’m tired of this film"

Imagine sitting in a movie theater your entire life, watching a film from start to finish over and over that has received rave reviews of perfection and grandeur. It’s so perfect (branded as such), that many miss the piss poor editing and horrible acting but are blinded by the visuals, music and ‘beauty’ of the persons playing it. The film is meant to inspire you, as you who come from nothing with no identity to stand on seek to find some solace in taking refuge under the images being shown – even though they are not you and do a fantastic job at erasing your ‘supporting’ roles. But you know your role is more than supporting and you feel something isn’t quite right. Your parents have seen the film and have warned you about its flaws and failed attempts to justify its mistakes. They will tell you how it will try to assuage your hurt around some parts regarding your role by making you feel shame. They fight with all of their heart to make sure you see that this isn’t real to help you make sense of the people you’ll be interacting with – many of which sit around you oblivious to these points - blinded by the picture. You take their notes and continue watching.

But after years of watching this film, your heart grows heavy. This vision is not yours and is the creation of someone else's world, which is their reality. You are no longer laughing when you’re supposed to laugh or crying when you’re supposed to cry. Instead, you grow numb. You look around you and the target audience is still in a daze, oblivious to their own well being and others around them. If you stay, you forego sanity. You make the decision. "It's time to leave," you say to yourself. "I'm tired of this film". You turn your neck and see the bright red exit sign. You know that by standing up, you will cause some form of disruption - perhaps blocking someone's view. But the exit is the future. You know the film isn’t real and should you choose to stay in that movie theater like the rest, you will die there along with them as the world is moving on. The film is America and the images are white supremacy.

You attempt to stand up, but not before you’re met with deadly stares, death threats or low vibrational behavior meant to hurt, maim or kill you. To elevate one's self (or simply stand up) symbolically represents the truth of the film, which will bring about its end. However, many will fight to ensure that the film stay in the theater past its expiration, even if it means there on demise. It's too good. But who are you to care. If the film wants to continue to run after you leave, leave it - for it is no longer your problem and the narrative created by a vision of another’s world, is not yours. There is a desire to go to another movie, perhaps created by me, honoring my history which it turns out, within the context of America is actually real.

I’ve seen the effects of this film and what it has done to my Community and what it has done to my white brethren and sistren’s communities. It’s killing them, just as it has killed us, responsible for the development of hurtful biases and low vibrational thoughts and behaviors. One not need look any further than to see the physical and psychological damage it has done to myself and Community. From bombing thriving Melanated metropolis', to rape, to self hate amongst our own, to lynchings, bombings of churches, erasure, etc. How could individuals be this cruel to another based on color? But it doesn't stop there. Their minds have become so distorted that in their attempt to proclaim recent 'mass shootings' (which are acts of terror) as the worst mass shootings in this country - they forget the worst mass shootings in this country were committed by those that look like them towards Melanated Americans in Black Wall Street or Colfax. Cognitive dissonance is synonymous with truth. Cognitive dissonance should be the title of the film.

But I truly don’t think they know that this film harms them. They seemingly voted for a reality television star to govern a country, some voting against themselves – and nearly pushed a pedophile to become Senator. I wonder in amazement, does one even need critical thinking skills to understand the film? But I can’t teach them, and unlike my parents and those before, I haven’t the energy nor desire to teach them or 'build a bridge'. It’s better to observe from a distance for just as a child has to learn, so must those in the seats. Hopefully they come to their senses, but the sad truth is that this film is real for them. They are emotionally invested as the film provides false confidence and promotes a false reality by assigning false attributes to the color of their skin. But again, it's just a film. Take it away, what is left?

As I continue saying “Excuse me,” politely past people to get out of my row, I start to realize that I no longer desire to be awarded awards under the name of a European writer. This perpetuates the film and false reality.  I no longer desire to be given a scholarship from an individual who was responsible for the colonization and the deaths of millions. This perpetuates the film and false reality. I no longer find refuge in a white man with blue eyes with two holes through his palm. This perpetuates the film and false reality - a film in which my narrative has constantly been hijacked and shown in a negative light to make sure the ‘color line’ stays intact. There are hisses and shock from those who watch the film amidst me making my way out of the row. "Sit back down!" "Fine! Leave if you don't like it!" One motions to throw something to which I eye him down hotly. Don't be stupid. I am not my parents or grandparents. He puts his item away. But even look at what the film fixed him to do! History has shown me that this anger and violence stems from these false attributes which make up this formidable color line. I accidentally step on someone's toes, "Ouch!" "Sorry," I say. But perhaps that was the first time they've ever felt me. I no longer say “excuse me” as I make my way out of the row. I’m now unapologetic, for if someone is not choosing to operate in reality and instead, live in a fantasy, (a fantasy which does not include me) then there is no need to be polite for I don’t even really exist to begin with. Stepping on their toes actually may help facilitate their own awakening. Still, I do my part.

As I now walk directly towards the end of my row, there is a desire to create something better. A world that is reflective of my narrative, just as much as it is for my white brethrens and sistrens that still sit in the theater. I walk a bit taller and along the way learn to love myself more and more. The experience of being a Melanated American, teaches you to love your self and embrace you unapologetically - for it seems the world has been conditioned not to do so. That takes incredible courage and strength to love and understand you more when many may deem it as taboo or radical.

I look at the faces as I walk past. Some may choose to leave with me for they understand the future and that we’re moving towards empathy and understanding, but doing so will be painful for them. Just as much as I am choosing to unlearn to learn and create a new narrative – so must they, should they choose to as well.

2)    I’m not afraid

As I make my way into the aisle, I’m not afraid. While numb, I’m rather amazed at those still choosing to sit and stay. But again, I say to myself, “That is their history and they may choose to believe whatever they want as it brings them comfort.” I understand comfort and its devastating power when it’s disrupted. But I still got up, because to stay comfortable will be my demise. As I walk down the aisle, I see some of my own, seated with a look of fear or an earnest desire to assimilate. Perhaps the desire to assimilate is fueled by tapping into the 'American dream' part of the film about ‘making money’ - but even that, given our plight, is questionable. But I understand survival. To stay in the seat is survival. I get that too. But if not now when? And don’t they know that if they stay in that seat, our true calling, to elevate ourselves, will not come to fruition? Who wants to stay on this low vibrational plane? Don’t they know that if they stay in that seat they will never know what can be? Never know our destiny? Never play a part in The Sequel? There’s more to see and more to create for civilization did not begin here, nor will it end here. If I told everyone in the theater, civilization began with ‘brown’, they would laugh and justify their laugh from the film’s narrative. “Yes, while that may be true – not without the touch of the Greek. Come here and learn more about Aristotle!” one would probably shout. Do they even know about the African mystery schools that many Greeks traveled to and far from to 'know' which would spark their learning? Or what about Mansa Musa if money and power is the obsession? What about the own unsung heroes/innovators in this country that look like me? Do they know? Do I even know? I'm finding out my history through Instagram and memes as this wasn't taught at school, yet I assimilated and went to one of the best institutions in the world. Still I know so little and the film does little to let me know more.

But again, when comfort is disrupted, it can lead one to do devastating things. Besides, if money is the barometer of success for their narrative in this country, how can I persuade them to face reality when the richest men in the world are American and look like them? I hope they do not think it’s by coincidence, but again – why disrupt? Context is seen as the curse. I’ve seen what low vibrational behavior from the ‘opposite’ community can do, but I’m not frightened, so those that look like me shouldn’t be either. For as you begin to embrace your journey and uniqueness, so too follows the darkness. In this world, it’s duality. But this fight is bigger than myself, reflective of the world’s push to understanding each other so I keep walking, but I stop.

What stops me on my way out are those that have never really been a part of this experiment’s ‘polarity’ which again, makes up the color line. Outsiders, immigrants, who while some may be Melanated are not Melanated Americans - not fully understanding the grotesque history of this country’s inception. My history is wrapped up in that mess. The mess from the color line. Some are blinded by the film, going along with it, not knowing that even their own existence and ‘future fortunes’ have come to existence due to the struggle and fight to be human - by the Melanated American in this country. Some look at me on my way out. Some surprisingly shuffle and begin to stand up too. I think they’re getting ready to leave too. But I don’t care. I keep walking. If they want to follow, they can come. Maybe they need to use the bathroom.

3)    The exit is the future

As I approach the door, I see the big red letters that say Exit. Truthfully, I’m excited. I will create a better movie with new labels, new deifications, new casts, new beliefs, etc. The Sequel to the film. The Sequel to this experiment. And I'm taking my history and culture (yes, all of its creations) with me as it seems that is was overlooked and deemed less than in the original film being shown. I turn around one last time to my white brethren and sisteren who are transfixed and entrenched at the screen. Some see me and hiss again, already plotting on ways to vilify me for leaving. I was a no name to them before until I stood up. But some are actually curious - shuffling. Are they getting ready to stand up? There is a look of innocence in their eyes to want to know what I'm doing as they know this film is dated. It's almost as if they dare ask me, "How can I help with your film?". Innocence, I remind myself ends around the age of 7 or 8. At least that's what Christianity taught me in this film - that should you die before a certain age, you would automatically go to heaven, because of your innocence. The people that look at me are past that age.  

I don't have the time to unwire and create a new tale (or sequel) while busy unpacking and unlearning things taught in this one. I feel some know what I'm going to do and know why I'm doing it, yet my culture and its trendsetting ways are easier to digest for them than the darker parts which are in them - so they turn an eye. Life is too short to be that serious, right? It isn't their problem I guess. I would hope they wouldn't be that superficial in seeing me just as Culture, even though that is true - but I reason, to be sensitive and hyper aware of your surroundings requires an experience that I feel they will never really experience. I've had the blessing to receive these skills due to the Melanated American journey. I honestly don't even know how they would even begin to understand, other than that this would require a complete rejection of who they identify as. But that is no longer my concern for this entire mess was never my fault and has nothing to do with me. Maybe they understand that. So I tell myself that they should go to those who created the film and wake up their own from their slumber. They are hurting.

I push the door. As I push, I can hear my parents’ sigh of relief. “He made it and he did it magnificently in the process,” they say under their breath. But just as quickly as they sigh, they hold their breath again. “Are you sure want to tell others about this new picture that you’re going to create? You know what happens when you create your narrative? Take into account your personal and professional life. Look at what they did to the young football player who took a knee,” they say. But I want to create a new film with a new narrative. The drive to produce something better with actual substance and reality, not misguided nor misleading burns great. I can’t shake it. It’s in me and as I’m beginning to see, it’s in nearly all Melanated Americans. And if they (I now balk at the term they) come for me, so what? There will be another after me. I push the door and as I take that next step out into the world, I receive a push notification from the FBI declaring ‘black identity extremism’ a threat. And so this is what happens when I decide to stop watching the film meant to maintain order or the color line. My existence will lead to its end, but in actuality it's an ending that will lead to something better for everyone's sake.

I laugh at the push notification. In an age of transparency, they will still try again but I don’t care. I’ve studied and analyzed the film and know it better than them because they’ve erased my parts. They don’t understand what they’re not willing to confront so in actuality, I’ve always had the advantage. And I’m seeing throughout history that that has always been the case - for if one goes to great lengths to create a film and brand it themselves as being the best, we know that it’s not and it never was. Reality.

On the streets I see my parents, relatives, friends, acquaintances and people. Melanated Americans. They are all standing by, not really knowing what to do but knowing that they should be doing something. I wonder what propelled them to get out of the film. It had to be something innate. Again, that burning desire to want something better. To create something better. That has to be innate in the Melanated American and is ultimately reflective of the human spirit. They must know that humanity can do so much better. I already see people fighting to build the film on multiple fronts. Some protest in the streets while some huddle in spaces plotting. Some who made the 'money' and got the 'power' group together to create PACs; while some invest in infrastructure. But I hope they have unlearned what they needed to learn and learn what they have unlearned, for we have so much work to do internally before we begin to shoot. There are many moving parts but I feel I can bring them together through my own works. I want to contribute. Again this purpose is bigger than me. This movie, or Sequel will take time and work - and although there are many other things I’d like to do; the desire to create this film is of the utmost importance.

I begin to play my part.